To The New Earth

Spring is here or soon will be. Of course down here in South Louisiana it's been in the 60s and 70s for months. Today's high is 85. Don't envy me too much for summers here hit the high 90s and if the heat doesn't kill you the humidity surely will.

I am past my hip replacement surgery and boy does it feel good to be on the other side of that one. I am one month out now and am walking with a cane. I can drive at six weeks and look forward to my regular gym workouts in two more months.

I feel a new beginning coming on, after what was the hardest two years of my life. But I digress and if you want to hear more about my harrowing journey you'll have to read it on previous blog entries. I am leaving the past in the past.

Now, I am concentrating on healing, then a full-time job in Austin, the move there and my new life there. Yippee Ki-yay!!!! Can't wait to taste Texas BBQ, especially beef ribs. It's hard to find good beef ribs. I like pork too, but beef ribs are the best.

Yes, I still eat meat. I've been toying with becoming a vegetarian, but never could get myself to stay away from the occasional hamburger or BBQ.

In the recovery and time off, I've got to keep up on the world news. My heart goes out to all those suffering in the recent earthquakes and tsunami as well as those in the Middle East struggling to overthrow their fascist regimes.

We can't deny that the earth and the world is changing. Chaos seems to rule the day on several parts of the globe. People say this is the end times. Yes, perhaps many things are going to end. I would be glad to say goodbye to the way the banks and corporate America rule this country. I would like to see humans pull together instead of fighting religious wars. I would like to see hatred of Jews and Muslims end. I would also like to see American and other countries be less dependent on oil and put funding into clean reliable energy. I don't feel it's nuclear power for reasons now obvious.

Change, yes things are going to change. I believe more earth and climate changes are ahead as well. I also see more non-democratic countries coming into consciousness and wanting their freedom. It's like the whole earth is waking up and saying no more. No more materialistic thinking. No more religious persecution.No more poisoning the earth. No more restriction of freedom.

Perhaps end times are followed by a new beginning. In many cultures including the Mayan, there was either no prediction of what was to follow 2012 or it was total destruction. Perhaps it's left up to us. Perhaps we either choose to love one another or continue to hate. I believe a new beginning must be based on love and freedom, not hatred and restriction by governments that have outgrown their usefulness.

We are on the verge of a new way of life here on earth and those clinging to the old ways of living are going to be left behind. Perhaps that's the Apocalypse means. For me I am going to live each day to its fullest.

It hasn't been reported so much on the news as of yet, but I can't help but notice how we are pulling together more than ever before. Japan is getting aid from all over the globe and now several countries including the Arab world have united against Libya to rid it of it's fascist leader. So some good has come out of some very bad situations or so I think.

Blessings to you for living during this amazing time on earth. Enjoy the beautiful full moon and Spring Equinox energies. Love to all!

A New Beginning in 2011

It's been awhile since I've blogged. It is winter, even down here in South Louisiana it gets cold and things slow down. Not much happening really. I am volunteering at Goodwill Industries and writing my first book. I also find myself in a personal year one. Numerologists say life runs in nine year cycles. You can calculate your personal year by going to any free numerology site and inputting your birth data. Last year was a nine year for me, which meant endings and boy did I feel some endings.

This year being a huge new beginning for me, I find myself more conscious and the past all but faded away. I am living in the Now moment. Although I am formulating plans for the future. By the end of this nine-year cycle, I plan on making a living by being published book author, living abroad for part of the year, and have a healthy, nurturing, spiritual and passionate relationship with a man. What I love about being in a year one is that I don't have to accomplish all of this in one year. I have nine years to make it all happen.

However, in order to enter a one year without the past dragging behind you, you must have processed your past and let it go. And I feel Spirit took me on a journey to do just that. I don't think I could have arrived at my destination without clearing out all the energy that was defining me and dragging me down. Whether we want to admit it or not, life events and unforgiveness of those events weigh us down and prevent the new from entering. 2010 was a complete life review from past relationships, jobs and how I related to men and money.

Along with all of this looking back, there is also a huge evolutionary change happening to humans. Perhaps this is what 2012 is all about, a new earth and a new human. If you want to look into this phenomenon just look up the word Ascension on any Internet search engine. Hundreds, if not thousands of sites now talk about the Ascension process and how it is changing the earth and its inhabitants.

For me the Ascension process has helped me to be more intuitive. I don't feel I could have awakened fully in a major metropolis like Manhattan. It would have been too much sensory input.

That's why Austin, Texas seems to be beckoning me forward. It's got a small town feel with big city offerings. I hope to have most of my first book written by springtime and then take the last leap of this journey that is now more than a year in the making. Austin is environmentally friendly and the cost of living has remained low compared to other cities in the US. It also has a huge job base. TIME magazine did an article featuring several new companies based in Austin called Austin's Way.

I took a trip to Austin last fall to look into a teaching internship that didn't happen. While there I took a city tour. It did indeed feel like a small town, even with the state capital and the University of Texas dead center of the city. The night life has hundreds of venues to chose from. It's dubbed the Live Music Capital of the World. Several magazines including Outdoor and Money magazines have rated Austin as one of the top 10 places to live in the US. Plus Texas has no state income tax and auto insurance is lower than Louisiana where I now am living.

So as Cajun's say Si Bon!!! It's all good!

A Dose of Reality for Many This Year

Wow, can't believe another year has come and gone and what a year it has been. This country is still in a recession despite what propaganda the government spews out. Many people are unemployed or underemployed and this holiday season may not find them at their jolliest. But Americans are survivors. We don't give up. We just pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and keep on keeping on.

For me, this year has not been the easiest of my life. I've worked Christmas retail in Albuquerque, counted people for the US Census in Lafayette, LA, started my book about my journey and this blog. Sure I wish I was doing better financially, but money has not been the reason for this journey Westward. It was my truth I set out for and truth was given in spades. I took a lot of baggage with me from New York, over 50 years worth. And as Spirit often does, It made me look at that baggage before I could let it go.

More than a year later, I am lighter by far. I have released many limiting beliefs and am able to see Spirit in action in my life. The Universe whether we believe it or not gives us what we want and only what we truly believe is possible. So if you see the world as an unfriendly horrible place that is what will show up for you.

But if you know that the Universe is conspiring to do you good that is what you will experience. But in order for me to get to that point, Spirit had to show me what my limiting beliefs were creating in my life. I am not going to go into all my trials and tribulations of this past year for it is detailed in this blog and my upcoming book. But suffices to say I've been to hell and back.

However nearing the tail end of this part of my journey, I am more at peace than I have ever been in my life. I know there is a forever expanding Universe that gives us what we want and believe is possible. We are the creators of our lives and until we start taking action on the things we want, we will be stuck with more of what we don't want.

Your predominant thoughts create your reality. I've always had a grand imagination, but my old beliefs in how the world works had to drop away. I believe that our childhood can have a negative impact on our lives, if we don't put it in proper perspective. We often react to the world the way in which we reacted in our primary families. If we were exposed to abusive parents, we have to work to change our beliefs so we don't see everyone in the world as stand ins for those abusive parents. Consciously we don't know we do it, but subconsciously we have done it all our lives. Guilty as charged.

Changing the view of the world has opened up possibilities for me to move forward in different directions in my life. I think I've tested the waters in every professional endeavor I could think of the past year, but writing is clearly my forte. I also love to travel, love to meet new and interesting people and experience different cultures. Some how I have to make a living out of that for in what you love is the answer.

The holidays are here! And I have so much to be thankful for. I am thankful for my new lease on life. I am no longer angry and bitter. The painful past has dropped away. I now see the world as a friendly place and welcome all the good the Universe can throw at me.

And 2011 it will be mine!!!

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and may all the Light in the world shine down upon you and yours this holiday season!!! May God Bless YOU All!!!

Out of the Darkness and Into the Light

Here it is over a year now, since I started this journey to seek a more meaningful existence. Perhaps the meaningless needed to drop away first, before it could find me.

After leaving the Northeast to seek happiness out West, I am returning to New York/New Jersey to spend my birthday and Thanksgiving with family and friends. No longer having to live or work in the city on a permanent basis, I can again enjoy the city for all it offers, great food, great people and great entertainment.

Looking back now, I experienced much success in my professional life in New York. I fulfilled my dream of becoming a magazine editor and I took a look at public relations. It didn't take long for me to realize I just didn't like the public relations business. While the money was good compared to journalism, I didn't feel the satisfaction I felt with being a journalist. As a journalist you are rewarded with a certain contentment just knowing you got the facts straight and either entertained your audience or informed them or both. As a daily newspaper reporter, you did the community a service in reporting on civic events and other important topics.

However, during the past few years, newspapers across the nation have made major cuts to coverage and staffing. Some closed their doors for good. I also didn't really want to repeat my past, but was looking for something new that gave me the same or deeper fulfillment. So during the last two years I've looked at many options in my professional career -- going back to school to either study creative writing or film, buying and operating a bed and breakfast, operating a daycare business, working for the United Nations, working for the US Forestry Department and working in the travel industry.

But none of that came to pass. At the same time I was looking for a more fulfilling professional life, I was also dealing with a major health issue without medical insurance. Like many in this country during this recession, life has not been easy street.

I guess the saying you are only as successful as your ability to get beyond your greatest challenge rang true for me this past year. Although moving to New Mexico wasn't a mistake per se, it didn't turn out the way I had anticipated. My roommate situation became volatile overnight and without full-time employment I couldn't afford a place of my own. I eventually had to rely on family and friends for assistance. Now, I am coming out of this year-long odyssey that tested the limits of my very soul.

But without trials and tribulations in life, how would we find true happiness? Duality can be trying, but what would life be without it. How would you know true joy, if you didn't experience sadness? Life is a series of ups and downs and you have to learn to ride out your trips to the subterranean levels and then find the light back out again. You have to realize the darkness is the way shower to your greatest discoveries. How else can one see the light, but through the darkness?

During your time at those depths, you find yourself going over your existence up to that point. You start asking yourself deep questions. You look at all your major life choices and why you made them. You ask yourself how did I get to this point? What could I have done differently? In processing the past, you realize how you’ve hurt others, how selfish you’ve been, how utterly horrible you are. But some how you discover self forgiveness whilst you wander the halls of the ominous never-ending void. You come to the realization that you did the best you could with who you were at the time.

Forgiveness of others also awaits you there -- parents, siblings, friends, lovers and co-workers. You realize they also did the best they could with where they were in life; and if you don’t forgive them their trespasses, you’ll just be stuck in wander mode all the longer.

Meanwhile your soul is crying out to fulfill its life’s purpose. You ask yourself just what the heck am I suppose to do with this life, these gifts I’ve been given? Being a writer has been both a blessing and a curse. You know you are a good writer, but just how to make a living at it escapes you. Plus you no longer want your writing to be bastardized by corporate America. You long to write about something that matters. So you write a book proposal that piques the interest of a small publisher, but then you choke on just where to start the damn story of your life. It’s put on the back burner while you figure out how to handle your health issues and imploding financial woes. And then you ask, where’s the ending of this so called life story? What’s the point, if there’s no happy ending?

In addition to handling all life's day-to-day problems, you are finally able to release the old. Old worn out beliefs, old clothes, old ways of doing things and old ways of thinking are purged. If you want change, you unfortunately are the one who has to change. You can't expect the world to change, first because it isn't what needs changing, and second of all you don't have the power to change it. You can only change the way in which you react to it.

So you go through a metamorphosis of sorts. You revamp your thinking. You are no longer bitter and plagued by regrets of what could have been. You have to let go of regret, anger and sadness. Don't ask me exactly how. It happens differently for everyone, but I think when you hit rock bottom, you have to transform yourself to climb out of the pit. You can no longer operate under the same assumptions or lest you repeat the same thing over and over again.

You also have to be grateful for everything, even the challenges. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, can't stress this enough. Just be thankful you have another day to laugh or cry.

During this time you'll knock on several doors that don't open. Early on it's the same doors you used to rap on that opened wide, but those doors are along the old path. "Don't put a comma where God put a period."

And then there is the waiting period in the darkness, when you have no idea how the heck you are ever going to be the same again. You cry and rant at God, asking why, why, me? Why do I have to go through this? All the while remembering you are the one who asked for change. You asked for spiritual enlightenment and asked not to be the same. That's the whole point of the journey, transformational change.

Spirit whispers to you there is a waiting period. You have to sit in the unknowing for awhile. You have to accept you don't have the answers. No matter how you plead for them, they don't come. Your ego is being dismantled. Slowly but surely your ego desires fall away. You throw your hands up to God, saying "Okay what's next, because I don't have a clue. Not my will, but yours be done."

Then you are ready to ask the ultimate question. "How can I serve?"

And shortly thereafter the turning point comes and you again see some sense to this mecca through madness. Spirit has been talking quietly to you. Only in the quiet will you hear It. You understand now that where you used to be, you couldn't hear Spirit calling you. All you could hear was your ego desire for more, more money, more love, more things, more, more, more.... And now you are being asked to be happy with less. Then wala less finally becomes more.

For me Spirit nearly had to hit me over the head, but still I hesitated. Many people in my life were either teachers or becoming teachers. I had, however, looked into teaching several times. In the Northeast living on a teacher's salary would have been quite challenging and making six figures, you really don't seek jobs making 40-something a year.

After several people asked me this past year "have you considered becoming a school teacher," I finally got the hint that perhaps I had better seriously consider it as a career path. So just this month, I applied for a teaching internship with the Austin Independent School District. Plus here in the South a teacher's salary is in line with the lower cost of living. The internship program begins with online classes in January, live classes in March and then you become a teacher intern with full teacher pay and benefits in the 2011/2012 school year. I've decided to teach special education.

How did I decide on special education? Well, while still living in the Northeast I had met a young boy, the 12-year-old Autistic son of a former boss in New York. I felt an immediate connection to Connor. I loved being around him, and I felt I could help him some how if I spent more time with him. But that wasn't to be. So when I arrived in New Mexico I volunteered to do the public relations at two non-profits that helped children with developmental disabilities. But that didn't seem to be enough for me. I wanted direct interaction with children. I wanted to give back. I wanted to help.

So there you have it, one year and one month after leaving the Big Apple, I have a new career in the making as an elementary school teacher. I have come to the conclusion that everything actually does happen for a reason. If you want change, you are going to have to spend some time becoming that change, and that process isn't going to be comfortable. It’s definitely not for those afraid of the dark or of being in the state of unknowing for any length of time. But in the nebulous void, you will find God. To Him you were never really lost in the first place. You just had to come to the conclusion that His plan was better than any plan you could have come up with on your own.

Birthing a New Life, While Healing the Old

Making a life change is a process. Just as the creation of anything new, it takes time. Something we humans like to bend, speed up and circumvent only if we could. We can't.

So here I am smack dab in the middle of a mid-life change that is nearly a year in the making. The past is all but faded away, but the new has yet to be. I've been slowed down quite a bit by hip dysplasia and financial flow, but this too has it's benefits. When you can't get around like you used to for whatever reason, you find inner work to do. And if you don't find it, it will find you.

About this time last year, I was finishing up my class on The Four Agreements based on the book with the same name by Don Miguel Ruiz. An amazing book that leads you to your truth, based on four simple principles.

1) Be impeccable with your word.

2) Don't take anything personally.

3) Don't make assumptions.

4) Always do your best.

I had read the book years before, so this was my second go round with these principles. This time I shared my thoughts with others in a classroom setting, which helped. Listening to others speak their truth also helped. I realized I couldn't live the Four Agreements working in Manhattan and that was part of my unhappiness. So I took off for parts in New Mexico and just like the song by the Dixie Chicks Room to Make a Big Mistake, it was to be my Waterloo or as one old friend put it Custer's last stand.

However as mistakes often do, I was led a little closer to my truth. Last fall when I left New York/New Jersey I had no real idea what my truth was. I just knew I wasn't living it and I was miserable. So I wanted to get as far away from city life as I possibly could. Yikes desert life did not suit me and I hated being called a Gringo. And this new life of living with Gay women, who were in a Native American ritualistic group didn't suit me either. Somehow I thought being amongst fellow truth seekers would help me find my own. But it was their truth I found and I found myself the odd man out many times living there. I honored them following their truth, but I was still in search of mine.

Realizing now that was just as far from my truth as Manhattan turned out to be, I picked myself up with the one good hip I had, brushed myself off and am now living with a good friend in Lafayette, Louisiana. Just so happens I am still friends with my ex-husband and that's a truth a lot of people don't live. And there are some ex's of mine I wouldn't call a friend, but fortunately Jim is one I can. His OCD still drives me up the wall, but then my cat's hair drives him even further up the wall. So we are coping with living together enjoying it at times until my surgery is over and I am healed, which should be about one year since I left Montclair, NJ.

It's no coincidence that I have just picked up The Fifth Agreement by the well know author and now his son Don Jose Ruiz, realizing that everything does happen at the right time, even big mistakes. The fifth agreement is about being skeptical, but learning to listen. Something I should have been a little more of before I left for New Mexico, but the book wasn't written yet. Gee thanks Don Miguel Ruiz. Just getting into the book, but basically it's about this concept (weird I was just thinking of this very concept this week) those who seek a deeper meaning in life question everything. Everyone has a truth, listen for it. Everything has a truth, expand your awareness to find it. I believe books find you instead of the other way around and this one came into my life right when I needed it.

I've been able to get lost in the silence of the Deep South and that's the only way truth will find you. It can't find you working a high-stress job that takes your very soul. It can't find you when you are complaining about it. In the silence you shall find me. In the wee hours of the night, the truth starts seeping in. To me it said, "You are a writer. That's your gift use it for good, but write about what your passionate about, not what someone pays you to write." So I started this blog and I realized I had stopped writing for me when I had to write for corporate America. My creative abilities were stifled in New York. I actually broke down at a friend's house while still in New York, saying "I left my husband 12 years ago to find myself and to concentrate on my writing and now look at what I am writing bylines on how to eradicate bed bugs for a property management company." I had some how gotten way off course and it had killed my creative spirit. But one does have to make a living. Even though I was making more money than I had ever made in my professional career, I wasn't living. Not the life I wanted anyway.

A wonderful medium I am using to find my creative voice is a mandala coloring book. It found its way to me through a wonderful new friend in Lincoln, Nebraska. Thank you Sue! Revelations have already come to me. It's the coloring, the shapes and sitting in silence or with music and just doing the work with the intention you aren't just passing time. You are honoring your creative side. Art is art and it helps to heal you and bring about change. If you would give yourself over to the process, you will be transformed.

As I was coloring my second Mandala last weekend, something very interesting broke through, something I had deeply buried and not been able to come to terms with in my life. I was coloring a large portion of the background in red when Jim came out on the patio and said what's that for. I said it's suppose to be a spiritual experience.

"Umm...well, I am going to mow the lawn I hope you are done with it by the time I get to the backyard," he said.

I had tried to talk him out of mowing the lawn that day as the mercury was suppose to creep to over a hundred. But his OCD rarely allows him to change his mind and as I was nearing the end when he rounded the corner of the house with the lawn mower. I was putting the finishing touches on my Mandala and a thought came to me about what my mother said about Jim.

When I would express my deep discontent with my passionless marriage, my mother would say. "You are never going to find anyone who loves you as much as Jim does." If she said it once, she said it a hundred times. And then I realized as the red was streaming out of my pencil that my mother never made a decision that wasn't based on fear or the lack of something. The root Chakra starts at the base of the spine and is depicted by the color red and denotes security in life, providing yourself with the basic necessities. I realized my mother had based all her decisions in life on fear of never having enough. She never celebrated her life with her creativity. She was always unhappy, because she never followed her passion. I don't even know what her passion was, because she was so out of touch with herself. After two husbands died of heart attacks, she turned to alcohol and slowly drank herself to death. She couldn't face herself. She couldn't get out of fear mode.

You were wrong Mom, not only for throwing your life away, but for the advice you gave. I realize you didn't know and I forgive you for not knowing. But I am going to follow my passion, my heart, my writing and there is a man out there that will love for me and be passionate.

I realize I am right where I need to be right this very moment, healing the relationship with my ex-husband, who will be a lifelong friend, but not a lover. Finding my voice, expressing it, enjoying the now time and letting go of the past that held me to a life I found passionless.

Meanwhile, I am still working at the Census and have gotten my resume revamped, pieced together my professional portfolio, and gathered references from past employers and clients. Getting ready for the final push to find my truth, realizing that its the journey that ultimately matters, not the destination.

The Change That Makes A Difference

Where in the world has Spring gone. It's already mid July for crying out loud. It's summer and things have slowed down here in the South. The humidity hangs in the air as sun beats it's familiar feeling on your skin. It rains daily, keeping the trees and grass a pleasant shade of green. The insect life here is impressive to say the least. Thank God mosquitos don't like me. The bull frogs sound like ducks quacking in the backyard at night and one beat his way to front door, as if wanting to come. He kept jumping into it, sounded like someone was knocking.

The oil spill lingers on people's minds and hearts, much like a cancer cell that grows larger. I heard BP is hiring adjusters. Many are applying.

Me, I've slowed down and have had time to make the necessary changes that were required. I've taken time to dream a new life. The old one just didn't suit me. I don't even know who that person is anymore.

I suppose many of my friends have not been able to understand my meanderings for the last several months. Once I left New Jersey and Manhattan I guess I was kinda off the page of what they expected me to do. Heck I was off the page in what I expected me to do.

A new chapter in my life was in order and I was tired of having the same conversations with the same people. I felt like I was living the movie Groundhog's Day. It was really dragging me down. Sometimes when we make a change, its the people in our lives that aren't allowing us to do so. They don't see the new you. All they see is the old you. I've stayed in touch via email with most of my good friends, just know I still love you all.

Many changes have been made and sometimes we won't really know what we want until there is nothing in our lives to mirror back to us our old life. You can't remake yourself doing the same things, saying the same things and hanging around with the same folks. Once you change then you can touch base to see who will allow the new you or who will suck you back into that old energy of who you used to be. Just my opinion.

Also I had to change the thoughts that kept running through my head. I had to get rid of "no one will ever love me, all the great guys are taken, I am always going to be broke, I will never write anything of value, I hate my life etc., etc. etc." I didn't really think any of that was true, but some part of me did. Enough of me, which kept me stuck in repeat mode.

I started to love me. Instead of the old limiting thoughts, I filled my head with positive affirmations. I began to see a different world, a world filled with love and laughter, not lack. I concentrated on my life and what I wanted in it, instead of what I didn't want. Basically you have to walk the walk and talk the talk. And now I finally feel that I can heal and move onto a life filled with love, beauty, abundance and laughter.

During the past several months, I've also had to deal with health problems without insurance. However, the Louisiana State University Medical System helps those working individuals without insurance. In fact, Louisiana didn't want the federal healthcare reform program, because this state already takes care of their own citizens. I have to say I have run into some Earth Angels that have helped me, bringing me to tears with all the hugs and love they have given me. I just had to allow them to help me.

Along with having to have my right hip replaced due to hip dysplasia, I found out I am allergic to either gluten or peanuts. Before I went to the doctor, I thought I had everything under the sun. The next step is an allergist to determine the cause of the allergic reaction. But hey I am still alive and kicking. Now, I am just waiting for a surgery date in New Orleans to get my right hip replaced. I will announce that when it happens.

Next up, I plan on moving to Austin in the fall, but one step at a time. First the surgery, then healing and then the move to the city's whose motto suits me fine "Keep Austin Weird." I guess I will fit right in.

Perhaps the best development is that I have started my book and a publisher is interested. I met one of the editors while working at the Census. Getting three chapters to him, has proved a daunting task, but I am doing it. So things are rolling along.

Although things haven't gone smoothly on the road to self-discovery, as bad as they got, I made myself feel better by saying "At least I am not on the commuter bus going into Manhattan." That always seems to put things in perspective for me.

Hurrah...life can begin anew. The Solar Eclipse tomorrow, although not visible in North America, is helping with these new energies everyone is feeling. Well that is if you are tuned into that sort of thing, which I totally am.

I want to thank all of my dear friends who have supported me in following my heart. You know who you are. Maybe you just thought of me happy, maybe you just sent me an email that made me laugh, perhaps you've said a prayer or two. I appreciate everything!

May God bless you all. Namaste.

Celebrating Freedom? A Dose of Reality

How free can Americans truly be this Independence day? "Home of the brave, land of the free," should be changed to "home to the broke, and land of the enslaved." This country's debt is a staggering $13 trillion and counting. Check out the debt counter. http://www.usdebtclock.org/

A large part of this debt can be contributed to the Iraq War that most Americans do not support and were taken into by deceptive measures. Wake up America, our government knew about 911 long before it happened. If they didn't help to plan it, they allowed it. Buildings don't come down like that unless there are strategically placed detonations devices. Metal doesn't melt by jet fuel alone. It was never about terrorism. It was about instilling fear into Americans, so that corporations could rob the world of oil. But moving on.

We are in the worst economic times since the Great Depression and it ain't over yet. Check out this video. I watched the entire presentation on Link TV by Richard D. Wolff, Professor of Economics Emeritus, University of Massachusetts, Amherst.

In May, one in every 400 households in this country had received a foreclosure filing, according to RealtyTrac 's U.S. Foreclosure Market Report. The US unemployment rate for the last two years has hovered around 10 percent, only rivaled by the period in the mid 1980s. Check it out: http://www.miseryindex.us/urbymonth.asp

Congress sold out to corporate America long ago, passing laws allowing them to do as they please. Corporate America has experienced record productivity and profit levels over the last 40 years, according to Wolff. Due in part by its massive outsourcing practices, putting millions of Americans out of work. Getting even more greedy, some Wall Street genius created an investment vehicle called CMBS (Commercial Mortgage Backed Securities), which is now bringing down lenders worldwide -- harkening back the days of the early 1990's and the Savings and Loan crisis. However, we have already surpassed the number of banks that have failed in the S&L catastrophe and as of March 31 the FDIC is in a deficit of $20.7 billion. Bank failures are expected to peak this year (83 have failed already in 2010) and be slightly higher than the 140 that fell in 2009. Check it out: http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/banking/2010-06-19-bank-failure-pace-tops-2009_N.htm

According to Wolff, the reason we are in such dire straights is because even though corporate profits are up, corporations haven't increased the standard of living for Americans since the 1970s when you compare inflation rates with salaries. However, as Wolff states, Americans work longer hours than any other country in the world. So we are working harder and longer for less money. And you'll love this, because our standard of living hasn't increased, the credit card companies loan us the money to buy all the material things they say we need. And because we no longer make the money to save to buy a house, companies loan us money, which they then trade on to make additional money. And low and behold when Americans were at their debt limit and could no longer pay-- wala the subprime mortgage meltdown. Corporate America lulled Americans into complacency and we bought it hook, line and sinker.

In case you didn't get the concept yet let me explain. When the 70's ended Amercian's standard of living froze and has not increased since, and yet corporate profits have soared. And with this profit investment banks invested in what they thought was a safe bet the CMBS market, allowing them to trade on and profit from commercial real estate loans in addition to residential loans. When the bubble burst and they got caught with their pants down who bailed them out? We did the ones they turned their backs on when the profits rolled in.

Meanwhile, millions of Americans are without access to quality health care, because of pre-existing conditions or job loss. Yet our US Congressmen and women have access to the best health insurance in the country without having to deal with pre-existing conditions. Why shouldn't they? After all they are the ones who let the insurance companies get away with murder. It's their just rewards for looking the other way, while millions suffer. The temporary high-risk insurance pool created by the Health Care Reform Act that was to be in place by July 1 is now put off until the fall of this year. Who are we kidding? The insurance companies have until 2014 to raise rates across the board for undoubtedly less coverage. You can't force a conscience on an industry.

To top it all off we allowed the oil companies to screw us again by creating what is likely to be the largest oil spill in American History in the Gulf of Mexico, killing not only livelihoods of millions of Americans who depend on the waters of the Gulf, but millions of sea creatures who call it home. The oil is still flowing, skimmer ships that should have been in place weeks ago have finally been deployed. Why? It's as if BP and Halliburton want this to go on as long as it can. We have the technology to create a clean, reliable energy source and yet the government refuses to acknowledge this. Why, because corporate American would stand to lose billions of dollars. We have polluted our lands, our waters for the sake of profit.

We are fast becoming a third world country. There is approximately 30 to 40 million people living in poverty in the US, according to the National Poverty Center. The population of California is 36 million. Capitalism doesn't work, because the people that run these companies have no soul. They truly only care about profits.

Independence, that's a joke. We are not free when corporate America runs this country. We have to be the change we see in this world. Instead of setting off fireworks this weekend, we should all pray for and send light to the Gulf of Mexico that is slowly dying and all those Americans without homes, without jobs and without health care insurance.