Monday, February 1, 2010

Being Grateful vs Being Toxic

We've all been both in our lifetimes...and we all have been around both types of people, those who are grateful and those who are toxic. When you are around grateful people it energizes you and you feel good when you leave them. And being in the presence of toxic people is like eating nuclear waste. You feel sick when you have to swallow their energy and when you leave their energy field you feel drained and depleted.

And it's really all about energy. Being grateful creates a flowing, positive, healthy energy. It uplifts those around you. And being grateful really breaks down to being thankful for what is already there in your life. And no matter were we are in life there is something to be grateful for.

Toxic people only concentrate on the things that are wrong in their life. We've all heard them complain about their cheating spouses, their bad bosses, their lack of money or whatever in their life is not working out. Complaining merely brings more of what you don't want. Sure there is constructive complaining to solve a problem or to figure out how to change things. I am not talking about that. I am talking about habitual complainers.

And, yes, I was one in NYC. I would constantly complain about how I hated it there, the traffic, the noise, the people. People started avoiding me, because all they heard was the same thing. There was good in NYC and good came out of it. I worked for corporate America, and got to travel abroad. I met some amazing people and made lifelong friends. I will forever be changed by the expereince. It helped to round me out, so to speak. I experienced what it was like to live in a thriving metropolis. No it wasn't my finest hour perhaps, but I did enjoy the parties, the cityscapes. It just became overpowering, I believe, for my energy. I needed a quieter environment and now I know I will never live in the center of a big city again at least not in America.

Concentrating on what you want more of goes like this. Let's say like me you are looking for a job. The first thing you can do is stop saying that there are no jobs out there. How does concentrating on the lack of something ever produce anything but more lack. Positive affirmations are a must and there are dozens of sites on the Internet that have affirmations for every issue in life. Youtube also has meditations and affirmations for free.

Another thing you can start doing is stop watching the news. I have given up on watching the news a long time ago. I don't have to be told by some newcaster about the unemployment rates and how "x" amount of people are out of work. How is that going to help me find a job. All I know is I will find one. All I know is I can't buy into all this doom and gloom about how horrible the economy is. You think I don't know that by now. So what good does it do to sit and listen to more bad news. Sure I keep up with the news via the Internet. I believe that your thoughts create your reality and if that is true then thinking about how bad things are will only produce that reality in your life.

Helping others also creates a postive flow into your life. If you find a job opportunity that you think might fit another job seeker you know, pass that info along. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I've always helped critique resumes, been a reference for co-workers looking for work and have passed job openings along. Those actions have come back to me many, many times over.

There are so many books on the law of attraction and how being grateful creates more things to be thankful for. Louise Hay is the guru of being grateful and healing your life. She is the founder of Hay House Publishers, which has hundreds of authors who can address how your thoughts create your reality. And I would also suggest Hay House Radio where many authors have weekly internet shows talking about many new age topics. It's a wondeful medium and so packed full of positive uplifting information. It is also free to listen to the lastest show.

Right now in my life I am grateful for this pause in life and for returning to South Louisiana where I can again write. My passion for writing has returned and I am so grateful for being able to write this blog about spiritual issues that have changed my life. Sure I might not have a full-ime job right this moment, but I am not a slacker. I've been working since I've been 15 years old. I worked at a deli making sandwiches, and mopping floors before and after classes and on weekends during highschool. I joined the US Air Force at nineteen. During my lifetime, I've waitressed, bartended, worked retail, worked on a factory assembly lines and been a professional journalist and publicist. So I am grateful for this time that has allowed me to start writing about meaningful things. I've always been blessed with work, but perhaps Spirit is telling me that my blogging about my life will help someone to cope, to grow, to laugh. I hope so.

I am also grateful for my friends all over the world and how the Internet has now connected us. When I left Louisiana in 2002, we didn't have social media like it is today. So I lost track of some of my dear friends. Now, that won't happen.

I am thankful for my cat Rizzo, who has been a faithful companion through this my latest journey, even though he hates the car. He has made me realize what true love is all about. When he was barfing on my passenger seat, I felt bad instead of mad. I just stopped the car, cleaned him off, gave him a pet and said sorry but we have more than 2,000 miles to go and I ain't leaving you behind. And he's adapted after 3,500 miles and he knows how much I love him. And his incessant purring makes me happy.

Rizzo 2010

I am grateful for my family. Even though we haven't been the closest knit family over the years, I still love my brother and sister. They have helped me to see more of who I am really am. With family reminding us of our humble beginnings, we are always brought home in their presence no matter how far apart we have grown. They care about us in ways no one else ever will.

My sister and me at The Tower of London in 2009

I also appreciate my closest friends, who have stuck by me through thick and thin. Even though I dated total idiots who didn't honor me, they listened with a sympathetic ear. And those idiots are long gone. Go figure.

I am grateful for my health, even though I have aches and pains I can still get out of bed in the morning and my heart is still beating. I can still write, work out and laugh.

So to one recovering complainer to another: Chin is going to get better, you will find that job, you will heal and the sun will shine once again!


  1. I was wondering when you were going to mention Rizzo.
    I love him too.

  2. Yes, at times he's the only thing that got me through it all!