Saturday, March 26, 2011

No Thanks, I'll Pass

I recently had a dear friend call me and say she met a man that needs a good woman and she thought of me. This isn't the first time this has happened. These recommendations from friends nearly always start off with "well, he's recently divorced and depressed," which immediately sends up red flags in my brain. I can't stress this enough when someone says anything remotely like this to you: run like hell.

I am currently single and have been divorced for 12 years. Some how people equate being single with being miserable. In fact, the opposite is true and until you can be happy being single you will never achieve happiness in a relationship.

First off, you are not responsible for any one's happiness but your own, nor are you responsible to to heal someone from a bad divorce or break up. Believe me I've been there and done that and have no need to repeat this experience.

Yes, it is true that after a certain age it becomes increasingly difficult to find quality people to date, especially for women. That is unless you want to date much younger men, which I've done, but with very little long-term success.

However, to my point. I have no desire to enter a relationship with anyone who thinks I can provide their happiness or uplift them from some deep dark hole they find themselves in. People just out of a relationship are rarely ready for a committed relationship. If they say they are, they cannot be alone, which should send up a reg flag. Processing issues from a breakup, especially from a long-term relationship takes years, not months.

I believe when the time is right, when we are at our happiest, we just attract the right person. In a healthy relationship, both parties are happy. Both parties can maintain their own lives. They don't need someone or something outside themselves to make them so.

But as we all know, most relationships aren't formed on happiness. They are formed on need and until one can provide for their own needs, they have no business in a relationship.

Also I would like to talk a bit about Internet dating. Hated it. Over a five-year period I attempted to meet someone from a myriad of sites. Most of the time I wanted to run from the meeting place screaming. I think these sites are fine for people in their 20s and 30s, who base love on lust and physical appearances. But when you want a relationship with more depth, I just feel you just have to be patient and wait on the Universe to bring it to you.

As you work on yourself and become the person you love, when you fall in love with your own life, you just naturally attract into your life the kind of person and the kind of relationship you desire. I don't think you can force the Universe to give you something you aren't ready for.

You are the one standing in the way of a good relationship. When you are still thinking about your ex, whether you are missing him or are thinking about killing him, you are telling the Universe that you want him or someone just like him. The Universe doesn't process hate thoughts, so when you think about a past love on any terms on a regular basis, you are sending messages to the Universe that you want him back.

Like I said it takes years to process a breakup and until you are ready for love again, you are going to get everything but.

I have finally reached a point where I just don't care anymore whether or not I meet someone. I am happy with me. A friend of mine said to me one day a long time ago, you just have to let go of thinking about men and get on with life.

I am here now. Thank you God!!!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

To The New Earth

Spring is here or soon will be. Of course down here in South Louisiana it's been in the 60s and 70s for months. Today's high is 85. Don't envy me too much for summers here hit the high 90s and if the heat doesn't kill you the humidity surely will.

I am past my hip replacement surgery and boy does it feel good to be on the other side of that one. I am one month out now and am walking with a cane. I can drive at six weeks and look forward to my regular gym workouts in two more months.

I feel a new beginning coming on, after what was the hardest two years of my life. But I digress and if you want to hear more about my harrowing journey you'll have to read it on previous blog entries. I am leaving the past in the past.

Now, I am concentrating on healing, then a full-time job in Austin, the move there and my new life there. Yippee Ki-yay!!!! Can't wait to taste Texas BBQ, especially beef ribs. It's hard to find good beef ribs. I like pork too, but beef ribs are the best.

Yes, I still eat meat. I've been toying with becoming a vegetarian, but never could get myself to stay away from the occasional hamburger or BBQ.

In the recovery and time off, I've got to keep up on the world news. My heart goes out to all those suffering in the recent earthquakes and tsunami as well as those in the Middle East struggling to overthrow their fascist regimes.

We can't deny that the earth and the world is changing. Chaos seems to rule the day on several parts of the globe. People say this is the end times. Yes, perhaps many things are going to end. I would be glad to say goodbye to the way the banks and corporate America rule this country. I would like to see humans pull together instead of fighting religious wars. I would like to see hatred of Jews and Muslims end. I would also like to see American and other countries be less dependent on oil and put funding into clean reliable energy. I don't feel it's nuclear power for reasons now obvious.

Change, yes things are going to change. I believe more earth and climate changes are ahead as well. I also see more non-democratic countries coming into consciousness and wanting their freedom. It's like the whole earth is waking up and saying no more. No more materialistic thinking. No more religious persecution.No more poisoning the earth. No more restriction of freedom.

Perhaps end times are followed by a new beginning. In many cultures including the Mayan, there was either no prediction of what was to follow 2012 or it was total destruction. Perhaps it's left up to us. Perhaps we either choose to love one another or continue to hate. I believe a new beginning must be based on love and freedom, not hatred and restriction by governments that have outgrown their usefulness.

We are on the verge of a new way of life here on earth and those clinging to the old ways of living are going to be left behind. Perhaps that's the Apocalypse means. For me I am going to live each day to its fullest.

It hasn't been reported so much on the news as of yet, but I can't help but notice how we are pulling together more than ever before. Japan is getting aid from all over the globe and now several countries including the Arab world have united against Libya to rid it of it's fascist leader. So some good has come out of some very bad situations or so I think.

Blessings to you for living during this amazing time on earth. Enjoy the beautiful full moon and Spring Equinox energies. Love to all!