Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Change That Makes A Difference

Where in the world has Spring gone. It's already mid July for crying out loud. It's summer and things have slowed down here in the South. The humidity hangs in the air as sun beats it's familiar feeling on your skin. It rains daily, keeping the trees and grass a pleasant shade of green. The insect life here is impressive to say the least. Thank God mosquitos don't like me. The bull frogs sound like ducks quacking in the backyard at night and one beat his way to front door, as if wanting to come. He kept jumping into it, sounded like someone was knocking.

The oil spill lingers on people's minds and hearts, much like a cancer cell that grows larger. I heard BP is hiring adjusters. Many are applying.

Me, I've slowed down and have had time to make the necessary changes that were required. I've taken time to dream a new life. The old one just didn't suit me. I don't even know who that person is anymore.

I suppose many of my friends have not been able to understand my meanderings for the last several months. Once I left New Jersey and Manhattan I guess I was kinda off the page of what they expected me to do. Heck I was off the page in what I expected me to do.

A new chapter in my life was in order and I was tired of having the same conversations with the same people. I felt like I was living the movie Groundhog's Day. It was really dragging me down. Sometimes when we make a change, its the people in our lives that aren't allowing us to do so. They don't see the new you. All they see is the old you. I've stayed in touch via email with most of my good friends, just know I still love you all.

Many changes have been made and sometimes we won't really know what we want until there is nothing in our lives to mirror back to us our old life. You can't remake yourself doing the same things, saying the same things and hanging around with the same folks. Once you change then you can touch base to see who will allow the new you or who will suck you back into that old energy of who you used to be. Just my opinion.

Also I had to change the thoughts that kept running through my head. I had to get rid of "no one will ever love me, all the great guys are taken, I am always going to be broke, I will never write anything of value, I hate my life etc., etc. etc." I didn't really think any of that was true, but some part of me did. Enough of me, which kept me stuck in repeat mode.

I started to love me. Instead of the old limiting thoughts, I filled my head with positive affirmations. I began to see a different world, a world filled with love and laughter, not lack. I concentrated on my life and what I wanted in it, instead of what I didn't want. Basically you have to walk the walk and talk the talk. And now I finally feel that I can heal and move onto a life filled with love, beauty, abundance and laughter.




During the past several months, I've also had to deal with health problems without insurance. However, the Louisiana State University Medical System helps those working individuals without insurance. In fact, Louisiana didn't want the federal healthcare reform program, because this state already takes care of their own citizens. I have to say I have run into some Earth Angels that have helped me, bringing me to tears with all the hugs and love they have given me. I just had to allow them to help me.

Along with having to have my right hip replaced due to hip dysplasia, I found out I am allergic to either gluten or peanuts. Before I went to the doctor, I thought I had everything under the sun. The next step is an allergist to determine the cause of the allergic reaction. But hey I am still alive and kicking. Now, I am just waiting for a surgery date in New Orleans to get my right hip replaced. I will announce that when it happens.

Next up, I plan on moving to Austin in the fall, but one step at a time. First the surgery, then healing and then the move to the city's whose motto suits me fine "Keep Austin Weird." I guess I will fit right in.

Perhaps the best development is that I have started my book and a publisher is interested. I met one of the editors while working at the Census. Getting three chapters to him, has proved a daunting task, but I am doing it. So things are rolling along.

Although things haven't gone smoothly on the road to self-discovery, as bad as they got, I made myself feel better by saying "At least I am not on the commuter bus going into Manhattan." That always seems to put things in perspective for me.

Hurrah...life can begin anew. The Solar Eclipse tomorrow, although not visible in North America, is helping with these new energies everyone is feeling. Well that is if you are tuned into that sort of thing, which I totally am.

I want to thank all of my dear friends who have supported me in following my heart. You know who you are. Maybe you just thought of me happy, maybe you just sent me an email that made me laugh, perhaps you've said a prayer or two. I appreciate everything!

May God bless you all. Namaste.

3 comments:

  1. Barbara! So happy to hear you are creating a new life for yourself! Love is all around, and it sounds like you are opening your eyes to all that is there for you. I wish you all the best on your journey through life!

    Always your friend,
    Jolene

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  2. Barbara, your own personal shift has been taking place for awhile now and appears to be gathering steam! I joyfully look forward to witnessing all the good things that will be coming your way in the days and months ahead! Blessings to you always. Sue

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  3. Thanks...Love and Light to you both!

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